I'd catch a granade?

So many songs these days don't make any sense. They are catchy and even fun to sing along with, but if you pay attention to the words, they don't make any sense at all. Each sentence is cleverly worded so it will cleverly rhyme with the next one, but there is no connecting thought throughout any part of the song. These songs are frustrating, but there are worse.
There are songs that make sense and don't make sense at the same time. That makes them stupid. There is one in particular that comes to mind. It is a new one by Bruno Mars called, "Grenade."

I have heard it on the radio, my youngest brother listens to it, and I have heard people singing or humming it all around. Basically, this song is about a guy who loves a girl, the girl doesn't love him, so he lists off all the stuff he'd do for her. Here is the chorus:

I’d catch a grenade for ya (yeah, yeah, yeah)
Throw my hand on a blade for ya (yeah, yeah, yeah)
I’d jump in front of a train for ya (yeah, yeah , yeah)
You know I'd do anything for ya (yeah, yeah, yeah)
Oh, oh
I would go through all this pain,
Take a bullet straight through my brain,
Yes, I would die for ya baby;
But you won't do the same

What I don't get is, what would any of this do for her? If you want to impress someone, try singing something a little more like this:

I’d catch a rainbow for ya (yeah, yeah, yeah)
Grow a handful of daisies for ya (yeah, yeah, yeah)
I’d jump around in my Haynes with ya (yeah, yeah , yeah)
You know I'd do anything for ya (yeah, yeah, yeah)
Oh, oh
I would kiss you in the rain,
Take a ballet straight through my brain,
Oh, what I would buy for ya baby;
But you won't do the same

I can't say that this would save the song, but to me it would make a lot more sense. When I think of doing things for people it usually doesn't involve spraying gasoline on my clothes while walking on coals or pouring acid on my face. However, if Mr. Mars insists on catching a grenade for his girl, I would volunteer to throw it for the rest of humanity.

Eclipse, a movie and gum!

I recently purchased some Eclipse gum in bulk at Costco. On every single pack were plastered the faces of Edward, Bella and Jacob. It was pretty annoying at first that I had innocently purchased gum yet had inadvertently supported the Twilight franchise. But how brilliant is this marketing technique? You don't need to have your movie be popular enough that someone will make a candy or a toy named after your movie, all you need to do is title your movie with existing brands!

With this mindset, I have come up with a few movie ideas of my own. One is about a food critic in South Carolina who encounters a whole munch of problems, I'd call it "Charleston Chews." My next idea would be a movie that depicts how Bill Gates is feeling and how much money he has, I'd call it "Good and Plenty." Another would be about Marie Antoinette and how often she liked eating cake, I'd call it "Now and Later." And my personal favorite idea is a take off of Arrested Development where the magicians alliance creates an everlasting pact to keep Gob from ever performing again, I'd call it "Gobstoppers."

I think that it's a great plan and I expect to make millions. Some of that will come from the fantastic movie quality, but a good sum will come from the marketing. I feel that there are a ton of movies who came so close, but just missed the mark. If only they'd changed the names a little bit, they'd be able to make millions from marketing. Here are a few:

Sneakers - Snickers
Chocolat - Hershey's Chocolat
Recess - Reece's
Ho Ho Ho - Ho Hos
Up in the Air - 7-Up in the Air
Momento - Mentos
Charmed - Lucky Charms
Stardust - Starburst
Twister - Twizzlers
Brokeback Mountain - Jolly Ranchers

Your ideas are welcome, I'll even share royalties.