social eating

On Wednesdays I'm on campus all day, seriously it's ridiculous. In the middle of these days I get extremely hungry. It happens every time. I usually end up eating in the cafeteria, and usually eat some delicious sandwich from Subway. After purchasing my food I have the ever-so-fun task of looking for a place to sit...by myself.

While walking around looking for a seat I see about 30 tables with only one person sitting at them. I think of how these people look lame and friendless. So I decide to play a little game. I find a table and sit all by myself and pretend to be just like them. I sit down, throw my backpack onto the chair next to me and look around cautiously as I unwrap my sandwich. As I eat I give these fake looks of longing at the other tables where conversations are actually taking place.

I usually pretend to get some of the dressing on my face and fake feeling stupid for never remembering to pick up a few napkins while I'm at the register. I do this whole routine where I pick up the food that has fallen onto the wrapper and put it back in the sandwich, making myself appear to be inept and unconscious of everything around me.

When I finish my lunch I wrap up the mess that I've made and give a semi-satisfied look. I give a last pretend look around the cafeteria to see if there is anyone at all that I know, then give a fake look of disappointment. I throw my garbage away and start to walk out when I 'remember' that I've left my backpack. I pretend to get all embarrassed and go back for it while avoiding all eye contact. I then walk out by myself, but really I'm feeling bad for all the people in there who really do have to eat all by themselves like social outcasts. The sad part is, they probably don't even have the slightest clue that they're one of them.