I'd catch a granade?

So many songs these days don't make any sense. They are catchy and even fun to sing along with, but if you pay attention to the words, they don't make any sense at all. Each sentence is cleverly worded so it will cleverly rhyme with the next one, but there is no connecting thought throughout any part of the song. These songs are frustrating, but there are worse.
There are songs that make sense and don't make sense at the same time. That makes them stupid. There is one in particular that comes to mind. It is a new one by Bruno Mars called, "Grenade."

I have heard it on the radio, my youngest brother listens to it, and I have heard people singing or humming it all around. Basically, this song is about a guy who loves a girl, the girl doesn't love him, so he lists off all the stuff he'd do for her. Here is the chorus:

I’d catch a grenade for ya (yeah, yeah, yeah)
Throw my hand on a blade for ya (yeah, yeah, yeah)
I’d jump in front of a train for ya (yeah, yeah , yeah)
You know I'd do anything for ya (yeah, yeah, yeah)
Oh, oh
I would go through all this pain,
Take a bullet straight through my brain,
Yes, I would die for ya baby;
But you won't do the same

What I don't get is, what would any of this do for her? If you want to impress someone, try singing something a little more like this:

I’d catch a rainbow for ya (yeah, yeah, yeah)
Grow a handful of daisies for ya (yeah, yeah, yeah)
I’d jump around in my Haynes with ya (yeah, yeah , yeah)
You know I'd do anything for ya (yeah, yeah, yeah)
Oh, oh
I would kiss you in the rain,
Take a ballet straight through my brain,
Oh, what I would buy for ya baby;
But you won't do the same

I can't say that this would save the song, but to me it would make a lot more sense. When I think of doing things for people it usually doesn't involve spraying gasoline on my clothes while walking on coals or pouring acid on my face. However, if Mr. Mars insists on catching a grenade for his girl, I would volunteer to throw it for the rest of humanity.

Eclipse, a movie and gum!

I recently purchased some Eclipse gum in bulk at Costco. On every single pack were plastered the faces of Edward, Bella and Jacob. It was pretty annoying at first that I had innocently purchased gum yet had inadvertently supported the Twilight franchise. But how brilliant is this marketing technique? You don't need to have your movie be popular enough that someone will make a candy or a toy named after your movie, all you need to do is title your movie with existing brands!

With this mindset, I have come up with a few movie ideas of my own. One is about a food critic in South Carolina who encounters a whole munch of problems, I'd call it "Charleston Chews." My next idea would be a movie that depicts how Bill Gates is feeling and how much money he has, I'd call it "Good and Plenty." Another would be about Marie Antoinette and how often she liked eating cake, I'd call it "Now and Later." And my personal favorite idea is a take off of Arrested Development where the magicians alliance creates an everlasting pact to keep Gob from ever performing again, I'd call it "Gobstoppers."

I think that it's a great plan and I expect to make millions. Some of that will come from the fantastic movie quality, but a good sum will come from the marketing. I feel that there are a ton of movies who came so close, but just missed the mark. If only they'd changed the names a little bit, they'd be able to make millions from marketing. Here are a few:

Sneakers - Snickers
Chocolat - Hershey's Chocolat
Recess - Reece's
Ho Ho Ho - Ho Hos
Up in the Air - 7-Up in the Air
Momento - Mentos
Charmed - Lucky Charms
Stardust - Starburst
Twister - Twizzlers
Brokeback Mountain - Jolly Ranchers

Your ideas are welcome, I'll even share royalties.

The Shampoozi Diamond

For an Intro to Theater class (easy art credit) that I took while at UVSC we had a few options for what we wanted to do for our final project. One of those options was to write a short play, more of a skit. Something reminded me of this recently so I decided to find it again. After starting to write it around 11:00 p.m. the night before it was due, this is what rolled off the press 3-4 hours later. It is a bit longer than a regular post but if you have a few minutes, I think it's worth a quick read through.

Damon McNeil

TASP 1120

Prof. Clark

28 April 2005

The Shampoozi Diamond

CHARACTERS

(In order of appearance)

Ederick

Jimothy

Tomathan

1.1                        SCENE:  Museum

                        [Enter Ederick and Jimothy]

Ederick

      Make sure that you do exactly what I tell you Jimothy, I don’t want anything to go wrong this time.

Jimothy

      Ederick, are you sure that this is a good idea? 

Ederick

      Yes.

Jimothy

      But don’t you realize what will happen to us if we get caught?

Ederick

      Yes.

Jimothy

      Well then how are you still able to go through with all of this?

Ederick

      Because if we do everything exactly as planned then nothing can go wrong, which means that you are going to have to do what Jimothy?

Jimothy

      I know, I know, I do everything exactly as you tell me to do it.  I don’t touch anything without you telling me to touch it.  I don’t talk to anybody unless you tell me to talk to them.

Ederick

      Good, it sounds like you’re catching on pretty quick.

Jimothy

      I’d be able to do this a lot better if you would just tell me the plans now.  That way I could know what to do and not have to do everything last minute. 

Ederick

      If I told you what all the plans were, then you would start thinking of how to do it your way.  And when you start trying to do things your way, that’s when things go wrong.  That’s when we’d get caught.

Jimothy

      Get caught doing what?

Ederick            (Slipping into a small closet)

      Jimothy! Get in here quick before anybody sees us!

Jimothy            (Casually walking into the closet)

      Ederick I’m not going to take one more step until you tell me everything.

Ederick

      Well that won’t be too bad, seeing how we’re going to stay in here until the museum is closed.

Jimothy

      Tell me now Ederick or I’m not going to be a part of it.  All you’ve told me so far is that we are going to be rich, but that’s not good enough now, I need to know how, and I need to know now.

Ederick

      Alright, I’ll tell you.  But you have to promise that we’ll do it my way and that you’ll do exactly what I tell you to do.

Jimothy

      Alright

Ederick

      On display in this museum are many thousands of artifacts that were found in and around King Fredward’s tomb.  One of these artifacts is the Shampoozi diamond that was found lying next to King Fredward himself.  Not only is it the biggest diamond ever found, but it is also the most clear and pure.  This diamond is worth more money than you could ever imagine.  Tonight we are going to steal it and sell it to a contact of mine in Turkey.

Jimothy

      How do you know somebody in Turkey?

Ederick

      He was a good friend of mine until the United States got a restraining order against him….or something like that.

Jimothy

      A restraining order?

Ederick

      Look, all he told me was that he had a buyer, and if I got him the diamond for him he would give me six billion dollars.

Jimothy

      SIX BILLION DOLLARS?!?

Ederick

      Yes six billion dollars, now will you shut up!  You’re going to blow this thing before we ever even start.

Jimothy

      Ederick this plan sounds wonderful, but how are we going to get this to Turkey without anybody finding out about it?

Ederick

      That’s easy, FedEx.  We’ll just mail it up there.

Jimothy

      It still sounds sketchy to me, but I’ll do it.  I’ll trust you on this one, so what do we do from here?

Ederick

      For now we just wait until midnight, when we can be sure that there is nobody left inside the building.

1.2                        SCENE:  Museum  (midnight)

            Ederick and Jimothy in closet

Ederick

      Jimothy…Jimothy wake up, it’s time.

Jimothy

      Time for what?

Ederick

      Quit acting stupid and get up!  If we’re going to get this diamond then we are going to need to have all of our sense.  Come on we need to do this quick.

Jimothy

      Alright, I’m ready.

                  [Ederick and Jimothy exit closet]

Ederick            (Looks around and spots the diamond)

      Ahhh…there she is.

Jimothy

      Who!?

Ederick

      Not who you idiot, her.  The Shampoozi Diamond.

Jimothy

      Oh, her.

                  [Ederick and Jimothy approach the diamond]

Jimothy

      This can’t be right, where is the bullet proof glass case?  Where are the surveillance cameras?  Where are the heat sensors and the motion detectors?  Ederick I have a really bad feeling about all of this, it’s probably some sort of trap.

Ederick

      Jimothy who would set this up as a trap for us?  Nobody knows anything about us.  This isn’t a trap, it’s just the most perfect set up in the world.  Now quit slapping fate in the face and let’s do this.

Jimothy

      So you’re saying that we just…pick up the diamond and walk out of here?

Ederick

      Yes

Jimothy

      And there won’t be any problems?

Ederick

      None

                  [Enter Security Guard]

Security Guard            (pulling out his gun, shining a flashlight in their faces)

      Freeze you two!

Jimothy                  (raising his hands)

      (whisper) No problems huh?

Ederick                  (raising his hands)

      (whisper) Shut up!

Security Guard

      What are you two doing in here?

Ederick

      Who us?

Security Guard

      No dummy, the other two guys trying to steal that diamond.

                  [Jimothy looks around quickly]

Ederick

      What diamond?

Security Guard

      Don’t play stupid with me.  And keep your hands where I can see ‘em!

Ederick

      So what are you going to do with us?

Security Guard

      I’ll cut you a deal and give you 50%.

Ederick

      What?

Security Guard

      You guys think that I could carry a diamond the size of a soccer ball out of here all by myself?  If you guys help me then after I sell it I’ll give you 50%.

Jimothy

      And what makes you think that we are going to help you?

Security Guard

      Because if you don’t then I call for backup.  And when that happens, the two of you go to prison for a very long time.

Jimothy

      Well neither of us would want you to do that now would we?

Security Guard

      What, and send my only two living brothers to jail?  I don’t think so.

Ederick

      Tomathan?

Tomathan

      You guys didn’t think that I was going to let you two have all the fun now did you?

Ederick

      Where is Samanthica?  I thought that you two were on your way to Paris for your honeymoon.

Tomathan

      Well…that’s only half true.

Jimothy

      Which half?

Tomathan

      She is on her way to Paris. I told her our seats were split up, so I don’t think she’ll realize that I’m gone until the plane lands.

Ederick

      What is she going to do once she figures everything out?

Tomathan

      She’ll probably have a conniption.  But by the time she catches up with me, I’ll have all this money to make things right again.

Jimothy

      I wish I understood women the way you do Tomathan.

Tomathan

      It’s really not that hard.

Ederick

      Thanks for the pep talk Tomathan, but do we really need this now?  If a real security guard sees us here he’s going to know something is up.  We look kind of suspicious with these masks, especially you with that gun.

Tomathan

      Right, they’ll arrest me for holding a gun but not for standing in a museum after hours around the diamond exhibit. 

Jimothy

      What’s that gun for anyway?  We’re not going to hold up the diamond, and we’re definitely not going to shoot it.

Tomathan

      Oh come on Jimothy, you know me better than that.  Do you really think that I would carry a real gun?

Jimothy

      It looks real.

Ederick

      So are we going to do this or what?

Tomathan

      Yeah, but if I’m in this thing then I’m in it all they way.  I need to know what all the plans are with this diamond and everything.

Ederick

      Do you remember my old friend Jackarias?

Tomathan

      The one that was banned from the U.S.?

Ederick

      Yeah, that’s the one.  Anyway, Jackarias is living in Turkey now and he is the one who told me about the diamond.  He’s got a buyer who wants this diamond more than anything.  Jackarias told me that if I got him the diamond safely then he would pay me six billion dollars.  Now I can’t prove it but I think that that is a lot of money.  Plus, we have three people working on it so that makes it eighteen billion dollars!  We’ll be rich beyond our wildest dreams!

Tomathan

      Yes we will be rich Ederick, but I think that you have your math all mixed up.  It is not a multiplication problem, it is a division problem.  It would be the original six billion dollars divided by three people.

Ederick

      Tomathan don’t take me for a fool.  I know that six billion multiplied by three is eighteen billion, so don’t try to trick me.

Tomathan

      No Ederick, I’m not trying to trick you, I’m just saying that he is only going to pay six billion dollars for this job to be done.  Whether you do it alone or you do it with fifteen other people, he is still only going to pay a total of six billion dollars.  So if you divide that six billion between the three of us, we will each have roughly two billion dollars for our own use.

Ederick

      I still say it sounds better the way that I said it.

Tomathan

      Yes it does, but that’s just not the way this all is going to work out, sorry.  But let’s not worry about that anymore, let’s just get this thing and get out of here.

Ederick

      Alright.

Jimothy

      I’m still not sure that this is a good idea.

Ederick

      Jimothy, I didn’t bring you here to think, I brought you here to help me carry this thing out of here.

Jimothy

      Ederick, if anything at all goes wrong we could end up in jail for the rest of our lives.  And is it worth it?  After all, it’s only money.

Ederick

      Only money?  Jimothy this is the most money that anybody that I’ve ever known has ever had. 

Jimothy

      But that will all be gone in an instant if even just one small detail goes wrong.  And then it won’t matter that we could be living like kings.  It may not be much what I’ve got right now but I’m not going to risk all of that just because of some dream.

Ederick

      Risk?  Dream?  Is that all you see this as?  Where is the risk in any of this?  Where are the security guards?  Where are the surveillance cameras?  Jimothy there is no risk in any of this.  All we have to do is pick up that rock, walk out of here, and send it in the mail and that’s it for us.  Then five to ten business days later, they have the diamond and we have the money in our hands, ready to be spent.  What do you think about that?

Jimothy

      Well if it is for sure as easy as you say that it is, then I guess that there really isn’t much use in arguing now is there?

Ederick

      Nope

Jimothy

      Alright then, let’s do this.

Ederick

      Tomathan, is everything okay?

                  [Tomathan in a trance]

Tomathan

      I thinkest that thou shouldst not take away that which is most precious to me.

Ederick

      Uhmn, Tomathan? What’s going on?

Tomathan

      Thou seekest to take what was kept beside my body since my death?  After my dying request was that it never again be separated from me?  Now in only a few moments you seek to undo what thousands have worked to preserve?

Jimothy

      King Fredward?

Ederick

      Jimothy, don’t be ridiculous, there is no way that this is King Fredward talking to us, he’s been dead for thousands of years.

Tomathan

      Why seemest this thing to be impossible to you? 

Ederick

      This is stupid, Tomathan snap out of it.  I’m serious, cut this out right now or I’ll be forced to hit you

Tomathan

      Wouldst thou strike a king?  Remove the rock if you dare, but be prepared.

Ederick

      That’s it!

                  [Ederick punches Tomathan and knocks him down]

Tomathan

      Ouch!

Jimothy

      You punched the king!

Ederick

      He’s not a king.

Jimothy

      You still punched him!

Tomathan

      What happened?

Ederick

      Nothing happened; let’s just get out of here.

Jimothy

      Okay, help me get the diamond!

Ederick

      Forget the diamond and let’s just get out of here!

                  [Ederick heads for the door]

Tomathan

      Hold on Ederick, what the heck is going on?  One minute you’re giving the most elaborate speeches to Jimothy of why he must go through with this and now you’re just going to back out on it all?

Ederick

      Things have changed since then.

Jimothy

      King Fredward won’t let us take it, he’ll get pissed.

Tomathan

      How is he going to get pissed?  He’s been dead for over three thousand years!

Jimothy

      He talked to us.

Tomathan

      When?

Jimothy

      A few minutes back, it was you that was saying the words, but it was King Fredward that was doing the talking.

Tomathan

      This is ridiculous!

Ederick

      No Tomathan, it’s all true, every word of it.

Tomathan

      Is this some sort of trick?  You don’t want me to be a part of your incredible wealth is that it?  Do you have any idea how much money six billion dollars is?

Ederick

      Tomathan the money has nothing to do with it.  If we take that diamond, King Fredward will somehow come back from the dead and kill us all.

Tomathan

      You are all insane!  I have already put too much on the line for this rock.  Do you realize what Samanthica will do to me if she finds out that I have abandoned her and don’t even have a decent reason for doing it?  She will kill me without even a second thought.

Ederick

      (whisper to Jimothy) If she ever had a second thought.

Tomathan
      What?

Ederick
      Agreed, without a second thought.

Tomathan

      I can’t believe that you both really believe that there is a curse on this diamond!  Curses are stupid superstitions that old Gypsies made up to keep the neighbor kids off their lawns.  They aren’t real!

Ederick

      Tomathan, I know that it was real.  I’ve never seen or heard anything like that before.  Tomathan you know that I’m not one to get scared easily.  But I’m telling you right now that there isn’t something right with that diamond.

Tomathan

      I don’t believe this.

Jimothy

      Tomathan I don’t think that you really have a choice at this point.  Ederick and I aren’t going to help you get that thing out of here, and there aint no way that you are going to be able to get that thing out of here alone.

Tomathan

      You two are really serious about this?

Ederick

      You think that we would just give up six billion dollars just as some small joke?

Tomathan

      I probably would if it were going to be funny enough.

Jimothy

      But how would Ederick or I….or anybody ever know? And how would we know if it were funny?

Tomathan

      That wouldn’t matter, cause I’d think it was funny, and that’s what really counts.

Ederick

      I suppose that would be quite some trick if you were able to do something like that and get away with it.

Tomathan

      That it would little brother....that it would.

                  [Exit Ederick, Jimothy, and Tomathan]

THE END

what movies don't you let your kids watch?

Let me start off saying that I fully support parents who regulate which movies their children watch. I think it is fully valid and that not all movies are for kids. Some kids get scared easily and don't understand what is really happening. I can see why a parent wouldn't let their young kid watch Lord of the Rings because of violence, the Usual Suspects because of language, or Brokeback Mountain because of substance abuse. It is up to the parents to decide what they know their kids can handle.

That being said I think there are a lot of people out there with rules that I just don't understand. Now I cannot vouch for the validity of all of these rules, some of them I have only heard about from tertiary, or worse, sources.

I grew up on Disney movies. I watched so many Disney cartoon movies in my youth that I beat an entire family (6 on 1) in Disney Scene It?. The Lion King is actually the only movie I have ever watched, rewound, and then watched again right after. So I was shocked to learn as a youngster that one of my friends was not allowed to watch that movie because of violence. In case you are as confused about this as I was, this apparently was referring to the scene at the end where two lions paw at each other in slow motion.

While on my mission I served with a missionary who was not allowed to watch most movies that I could see nothing wrong with. He couldn't see the Little Mermaid because she is immodest. He was not allowed to see Snow White because one lady lived with seven men. He was not allowed to see Dumbo because the title of the movies sounded derogatory. These are just the ones that I can remember, but we spent a good 15 minutes of one district meeting asking him if he had seen different movies, he had not seen at least 85% of them for one reason or another. I just don't get it.

Don't think that I fully support Disney either because I don't. As far as I'm concerned they really only have one great thing going for them, and that's Pixar. I guess I'm just trying to understand, so if you feel this same way about any of these movies, please explain why so that I can comprehend. These all seem strange to me but none of them really bothered me until I heard about this one.

I was talking to someone at work about old childhood cartoons, and I brought up DuckTales. The co-worker gets all wide-eyed and incredulous looking and says, "You would not believe! My cousins were not allowed to watch DuckTales because, now get this, ducks don't have tails, they're just feathers."

If you are a parent and don't let your kids watch some things because of content or how that content will be interpreted by a three-year-old, I stand by you. I may not understand your reasoning, but I get that. But if you have some phonetic misunderstanding inside your own head that keeps your children from enjoying the finer things in life, please call child services today.

letters to celebrities

Dear Johnny Depp,
   Why?
Sincerely,
        Damon


Dearer Penelope Cruz,
    Why?
Sincerely,
        Damon


Dear Geoffrey Rush,
    Why?
Sincerely,
        Damon


Dear Keira Knightley and Legolas,
    Good call.
Sincerely,
        Damon

Rifftrax.com

I am writing for the greater good of mankind. This is mostly being written for future generations who look back on our lives and think that we had nothing to live for. This, however, will also apply to those looking around their lives right now and think that they have nothing to live for. The answer is rifftrax.com.

For those of you who have never heard of rifftrax, it is headed by Mike Nelson along with Kevin Murphy and Bill Corbett the same trio from Mystery Science Theater 3000!! If you don't know what MST3000 is, I really can't help you.

MST3000 made fun of old movies, Rifftrax is doing the same thing but with modern movies. Unfortunately, movies don't just get better over time. People are still making movies that just suck. So why not make fun of them, turn them into comedies, and make a few bucks?

Rifftrax.com offers audio downloads that you can sync and play with your awful movies. I have watched so many movies with these Rifftrax now and I feel like most people don't know about them.

Rifftrax has done things with movies that nobody else could do. It enabled me, two of my brothers and a few guy friends to have a Twilight trilogy night. It got me to watch things like Birdemic, The Last Airbender, and the new Indiana Jones movie. There are movies that I hated but now I'm considering buying them because the rifftrax are so good!

If you don't believe me, try it out. Go to Rifftrax.com and you can look at some samples for free. You can also search "rifftrax" on YouTube and get a good taste for what is out there.

Recommendations:
The Last Airbender
Twilight trilogy
Harry Potter 1-4
Willie Wonka and the Chocolate Factory
The Day After Tomorrow
Reign of Fire

save the date

As promised I'm keeping you updated. Plans are now finalized. The biggest event of the year for me will be happening on December 28th. Chelsey and I will be married in the Draper Temple. We're super excited. Now it's just on to planning receptions, taking pictures, making/sending invitations and junk. Hopefully it'll all go smoothly. :)

life-changing decisions

I know that a very select few people follow this blog, so I feel obligated to keep you informed on the most intricate details of my life. I recently started dating a girl named Chelsey (recently here meaning 20 months ago.) She's great. We have now recently (recently here meaning yesterday) announced our engagement. So this is all pretty new to me. It looks like things are going down in the end of December but we don't have a firm date set yet. I'll keep you posted on all the details. I am just SUPER excited and had to share that little bit of info with the www.

Vampires aren't even real

I don't understand the infatuation currently circling the globe with vampire movies and TV shows. This is just silly. Let me just inform you all, vampires are not real. Edward is not real. Jacob and his body are not real. All the other recent Twilight tag-along vamps are also not real. I am proud to say that I have not fallen under the spell of these twisted teenage ridiculous romances. I will stay away from the vampire franchises who are trying to suck money from unsuspecting teenagers with no sense of taste, class or reality. And I will stick to my zombie movies.

Bloody Water

If you don't like bloody pictures, don't continue to the bottom of this post. It goes in depth about my snorkeling experience at a place I now call Sharks Cove.

I was vacationing with my mother and older brother in the Hawaiian Islands. Most of our time we were on the main island called O'ahu, the rest of the time was spent in the ocean. One day we decided to see how we fared at snorkeling. We took the mask and mouthpieces out to the beach right behind the condo in which we were staying. It was fun but boring, at first. We didn't really see anything but rocks and coral, at first. I had gone out further than I would have if I had known how far out I had gone. I saw something that looked purple on the ground, I dove down to get a better look...and it was weird looking. I still don't know what it was, probably a purple rock. That experience ended fairly uneventfully.

We decided to go to a place where more people snorkeled, we figured it would be more interesting. If we had only known. We went to a popular place called Sharks Cove (that's why I call it that.) Right when I first put my face in the water I could see fish all around me. The three of us stayed pretty close together for the most part. It was so cool to see all the different fish. They seemed to be used to tourists because they would swim right up next to us. It was all fun and games at first. My mom had some trouble with her mask and it started to rain on our stuff back on shore, so we didn't stay long. None of us really found out why it was called Sharks Cove until later.

We had such a good time that a few days later we were back. We wanted to see more things than we'd been able to see on our previous visit, boy did we ever. My mom didn't come this time, it was just Rendon and I. I started to get out into deeper water and saw a huge school of decent sized fish, there had to have been over 400 of them. It was so cool. I dove down to where they were (only about 6-8 feet) and they would scatter and swim all around me. I loved it. I didn't suspect anything. I got Rendon's attention and he came over and saw the fish with me, he also very enjoyed them. It was then that Rendon saw a group of people out further than we were, they seemed to be looking at something. We decided to go see what it was.

We started to go out there to see what all the fuss was about. I got there and Rendon wasn't with me, he had been distracted by another awesome fish. I saw that he was coming to join me, and it was a good thing that he was. I looked under the water and saw two swimmers dive down about 15-18 feet and go under the coral reef and come up through a hole that was a good 6ish feet from the point the swam under. I couldn't see how there could be any harm in doing this, so I decided I wanted to try. Rendon caught up and I told him what I was going to do. At first he cautioned me not to do it, but I really wanted to. If only I had known then.

I got to the point above the cove that I thought would be best to dive from. I secured my goggles and took one last deep breath. I kicked my feet up, pushed my head down, and started heading for the ocean floor. As I approached I noticed how dark it was under the coral. I hadn't really thought about that. When I got down to the level of the coral I could feel my mask and ears being pushed on by the pressure, but that couldn't prepare me for what I would see under the coral. I got to the ocean floor and looked under coral to see a shocking sight. There was nothing there. No fish or anything, that should have been my first clue. I started swimming under at a quick pace because the total absence of fish had put an eerie butterfly feeling in my stomach (even 15 feet under water.) I was also swimming quickly because my eyes hurt from the pressure.

I got under the coral where I thought the hole would be, I looked up.....and there it was. But when I looked up through the hole I saw something that made my stomach turn. I could see Rendon up above me but he wasn't even watching me. I had just done something I though was awesome and he didn't seem to care. I quickly swam up to alleviate the the pressure from my eyes. Rendon had apparently been watching but was trying to fix his mask on my return journey. The first words he said were, "I'm doing it." I let him know how much my eyes hurt from the pressure, but he wanted to do it anyway, I don't think he knew how much it hurt. He made the same dive and came up saying it didn't hurt that bad. I felt a little lame for it hurting so bad.

At this point we decided to swim back and get some dinner or something. We joined back with my mom and were going back to the condo but we decided to stop at another beach first. It was nice and relaxing. We just chilled, my eyes still kind of stung. We went home and showered and got ready to go out for dinner. Rendon was showing me some of the options of restaurants we hadn't tried yet. While we were talking he looked at me and said, "Is there something in your eye?" I didn't feel like there was. He told me to look to the side, I did. "Oh my gosh! Dude, go look in the mirror."














Apparently, my mask was too tight so when I dove under the coral the water pressure had burst the blood vessels in my eyes. The doctors said it wasn't serious unless it affected my vision, it didn't. They look much better now.

They do have sharks there though...sometimes.

Pictures of Sharks Cove (I didn't take these)

what color does an Angel turn if you choke it?

Many of you may not know this, but July 24th is a holiday. It is Pioneer Day and is probably not celebrated anywhere outside of Utah. So to celebrate the occasion, my family went outside of Utah. It all started about a month ago. I mentioned that I had a list of things I would like to do before I died. Going to an air show was one of them. When I mentioned that my dad got online and found out that there was going to be one in Idaho Falls on July 24th. Not only would it be 'an air show', but the premier act would be the Blue Angels, the most famous show team in the world. Seeing an air show I thought would be cool, but seeing the Blue Angels was what I would have thought to be an unattainable dream, and yet it happened.

The day was amazing. We started by walking around looking at different planes on display. At about 10:20 we were able to see the B2 stealth bomber fly overhead. It was pretty amazing. We kept checking out the planes on display until the show started at 12. The day showcased several prop planes doing various stunts, including one plane with a woman standing on the top wing while flying. The jets that were showcased included Russian MiG and the Air Force's F16. All of these were pretty amazing and exhilarating, but nothing compared to the Angels.

Their show started before the pilots even got in their planes. The way that they did everything was perfect and in sync. I was in awe the whole time. I got chills several times throughout their hour long performance. I really couldn't do them justice by trying to explain their majesty and sheer awesomeness. I felt like a little kid seeing a real firetruck for the first time after playing with a toy one for three years. Every move that we had seen the other jets do, the Blue Angels did while flying in formation.

The moral of this story is that air shows are awesome and the Blue Angels are the best. If you ever have the chance to see them, take it. A small trip and a few dollars for an entrance fee will be totally worth it before you even see the Angels fly.

checklist

A little while ago I started my very own birthday tradition. On my birthday I would make a list of things I just wanted to do. For example eat ice-cream, see a movie, go golfing, or fall madly in love. The number of items on the list would equal the number of years that I had been alive. Here was this year's list.

1- Go back to sleep after waking up √√
2- Drink chocolate milk √
3- Throw around a Frisbee √
4- Long-board somewhere √
5- Drive with my arm out the window √
6- Get a snow cone √
7- Eat at J-Dawgs √
8- Drink Dr Pepper √
9- Laugh really hard at a new joke √
10- Listen to The Format √
11- Speak Russian with someone √
12- Learn a new song on the guitar √
13- Spend time with the family √
14- Kiss Chelsey √
15- Break something √
16- Fix something √
17- Eat peanut butter kiss cookies √
18- Watch 10 favorite YouTube videos √
19- Go shooting √
20- Eat at the Pizza Factory √
21- Do absolutely nothing for 15 minutes √
22- Win something √
23- Open a present √

The day was a success. I started right when I woke up...by going back to sleep and ended 20 minutes before midnight. I said that I started this tradition a while ago, truth is that while ago was the night before my birthday. The idea just came to me so I decided to try it. I loved it. I will keep it going on into my old age when each item on my list will be a different pill that I have to take.

Questions for which I have yet to find answers...

why do the hours from midnight to 4:30 a.m. go by so faster when I'm awake than when I'm asleep?

why do I know that?

why is it so much easier to write a paper when the deadline is only 4 hours away than when it is 4 days away?

why is it that when I'm in school all I look forward to is summer, but when it comes I'm bored most of the time?

why is it that when I am bored I want to either eat something sugary or buy something cool?

how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop?

how can you get addicted to Panda Express if there is no MSG added?

why do I feel better about these questions now that I've put them down in my blog?

exploring options

The latest talk is all about the new iPhone coming out...sometime. But is Apple really looking at all of their options? I hope they're considering absolutely everything in order to make this the best release of all.

Blind Date

Greeting at the door:
Him- Trying to decide if she is as pretty as his roommate said she was.
Her- Hoping he's not as much of a creep as his roommate is.

Car ride to the restaurant:
Him- Keeps conversation familiar by talking about his roommate, discovering how much of the conversation she will dominate all night.
Her- Finds out how close he and his roommate are, creep factor is now generally known, generally unknowingly dominates conversation.

Dinner:
Him- Hopes she'll order something cheep-ish, finally determines prettiness factor, tries to eat enough to be filled, but not look like a pig.
Her- Hopes he's not cheep, decides if she does not want to go out with him again.

Car ride back:
Him- Decides whether he'd like another date, wonders if he's going to get dessert, chuckles at himself for thinking of 'dessert' right after dinner (depending on decision- hope he can get the mints out of his glove compartment without it being awkward.)
Her- Decides whether she wants dessert, chuckles at herself for thinking of 'dessert' right after dinner, wonders if he's just chuckling because she is (depending on decision- goes through her meal wondering if there were onions or garlic)

Doorstep:
Him- Makes a comment either stating that it was kind of nice, or that they should get together again sometime, according to previous decision either takes some action or not, accordion to her decision either gets some action or not.
Her- Either responds to possible comment made about a future date or avoids it, according to his previous decision she has the option to get some lip-service or not, according to her decision either grants him his wish or shuts him down like a bad date.

After date:
Him- Depending on prettiness factor determined either brags about getting action (even if he didn't) or complains to roommate about getting set up.
Her- Depending on creepiness factor giggles all night or makes crepes.

Before?? and after

Where do 'before' pictures suddenly pop out from? 'Oh, my acne looks particularly bad today, where's the camera?' 'Look how far my gut hangs over my belt, I think I'll take my shirt off, frown, and document it. ' 'This may be a new record of plaque on my teeth, click' It worries me. Should I start taking random pictures of myself in odd poses in case my body suddenly gets in shape? Should I stop brushing for a few months and then contact Crest to see if they need a testimonial? I guess I'll just take some regular photos and see if I can change anything in the future.

X marx the spot

What is with the letter 'x' trying to over-run the alphabet? It used to be probably the most rarely used letter and now it's all over the place. I blame this mostly on young teenage girls, IM and texting. My belief is that it is mostly used because an average person thinx it's easier to use a single letter, 'x' than actually typing two FULL LETTERS! Hmm, they're probably right. Can you imagine what we've been missing? So I've tried only using 'x' over the past few days, it's amazing! Thanx to these innovators I have saved hundreds of milliseconds in e-mails and texts. It may seem that this new ideal of mine lax creativity, but I consider it to be brilliant. I have way more time now to read boox, which I actually usually spend watching movies and eating snax. I believe that the nation would save money if it only used 'x', we'd eventually save paper and solve the financial crisis with our banx. It's up to each one of us to bring 'x' into the spotlight. Sure we might get some occasional weird loox from grammatically correct people, but we have to do our part. Also, part of our part I feel should be changing the abbreviation for the central most state of the union to just plain X.
Just bringing 'x' into the spotlight isn't enough, we will have to push a different letter to the bax or our minds. Don't re-read this all now, but because of this I have eliminated the letter 'K' from this entire post....except for that one. Pretty sure I covered my trax. So join with me and hundreds of thirteen-year-old girls in our effort to annihilate the above mentioned letter...that follows 'J'

Cast:

Ice rinx (uncredited)
Tanx (uncredited)

oh Christmas, you festive gem! Once about every year or so we get to celebrating the birth of one Jesus Christ. We do this in possibly the best way ever, by spending time with our families and friends. Life really couldn't be much better. So here is a Christmas shout out to everyone. Make it a good one.

reliving the glory days

While walking through the grocery store the other day I saw some GoGurt. It reminded me of my childhood so I decided to get some. I was then in the snack section and saw snack packs which also reminded me of my earlier years. I then decided to walk through the entire store and buy things for my trip down memory lane. I was fully loaded with the above mentioned items along with String Cheese, Squeeze-Its, Capri Sun, Chewy Granola Bars, Otter Pops, Animal Crackers, Fruity Pebbles and Pop Tarts. As I looked into my childish eyes which were the items in my cart I slowly formulated a question to as myself. "How are you still alive?" I don't think there was a single nutrient in my entire cart (except maybe the Dr Pepper that wasn't part of my flash back, but I didn't know for sure). I thought back to my youth again trying to see vegetables and fruits in there. I definitely found them, but they were never the things that stuck out. I took another lap around the store and added baby carrots and some canned veggies. I felt a lot better about myself after adding them back into my life and restructuring the pyramid of my youth. All the food is pretty much gone now but I don't have a can opener and it just isn't right to eat carrots without Ranch...

online crowds

So it turns out you can find awesome deals the day after Thanksgiving. Who would have thought? So I'm kind of addicted to shopping for things online. Granted so far all I've bought is DVDs, but it's pretty nice. Turns out Best Buy has over 400 DVDs on sale online, which is pretty great. It sure beats having to cram into the stores and fight the crowds. No worries about parking. No disgruntled sales clerks. Just pure internet bliss...