Plan for Time Travel Before It's Too Late!

We all know that time travel has not yet been achieved. We know this because if it had been achieved someone would have brought back a copy The Dark Knight Rises and plastered it all over the Internet. We would also be eating grapefruit year-round instead of just in the winter.

Most of us don't really think to often about what we will do when time travel is accomplished. I think this is a mistake. When the first time traveler succeeds to warp around the standard tick of a clock, it's going to happen fast. It might actually happen slow, depending on how it all actually works, but I think for us it will seem like it's happening fast. We need to be prepared. If we don't plan for time travel until it is an actuality, we may never have time to do it. So what are we going to do with the new discovery?

If I am part of this elite group who finally succeeds, the first thing I'll do is sell it. Imagine Amazon.com having a 'same second delivery' option. You browse for whatever you want. Proceed to checkout. Make the purchase. Your doorbell rings. Amazon processed your order 5 days ago and didn't even need to overnight ship it to get it to you on time.

I would market it to grocery stores so that none of their produce ever went bad. They could see what items didn't get purchased during the week, then bring them through the time continuum and they'd still be fresh! You could have freshly picked berries that have sat in the store for weeks!

Depending on how the time travel stuff actually works, I would also set up a booth where people could come and get a quick glimpse into their future. Anyone could do it, but it would be marketed toward people preparing for job interviews so that they could more accurately answer the question, "Where do you see yourself in 5 years?"

Let's just be prepared. I'll leave the actual inventing of some sort of time machine to other people, I'll just have a plan for the thing once it's built. Otherwise it'll end up crushed by a dinosaur or carried off by Morlocks. We don't need anything that drastic. So if any of your future selves has any other great ideas for using time travel in clever and inventive ways, come back to this time and voice your idea in a comment. If my future self is ever able to come back to what is now the present, I'll be sure to leave a message hidden in this post.

Shake'n It Up

My company participated in a state-wide earthquake drill this week. It was pretty crazy. They said that we should do exactly what we would do in the event of an earthquake. They said they would announce over the intercom when the earthquake started. We would then take action. We were told to get under our desks and watch for things that could fall and hit us.

It was hard not to anticipate the earthquake. I tried my best to make sure that everything was just as it would be if I had no idea anything was happening. I had my phone on my desk, snacks & a water bottle right next to me, and I was listening to music. You might think that this is just basic stuff, but it turns out it is the perfect earthquake preparation.

The second I heard the intercom system I grabbed my snacks and phone and dove under my desk. I pulled my chair up next to my desk to help block things that could potentially fall and injure me. I rested my head on the knocked-over garbage bin that I usually rest my feet on. I had queued up about 1.6 hours of music on Grooveshark and still hand my headphones in. The snacks were nice to keep up my strength and provide me with some comfort. I had a fully charged phone with Temple Run loaded and ready to go.

I was prepared for anything, except what actually happened. The intercom chimed again. After 60 seconds, the drill was over. My heart sank a little bit. I was so ready to outlast the elements. But it definitely has made me more prepared. I make sure that I keep my snacks under my computer now and that I always have a good hour of music in queue with the repeat feature selected.

So as long as the earthquake doesn't knock out the power so I can't listen to music and as long as it doesn't shake the ground so much that it messes up my Temple Run, and as long as it doesn't open a big gaping hole beneath me or cause my desk to fall and crush my body, I say, "Bring it on"

What is a blog post worth?

When I was in college I took a Creative Writing class. We had various assignments to test our abilities and teach us new ways to write. The description for one of our assignments was: "Write a 1,000 word description of this class. You can describe the professor, students, classroom, etc."

This is what I turned in: