JaEmSaSnIdCaA - Jim, I wrote this about you!

Girls read too much into stuff. They could look at the back of a shampoo bottle and notice, "Hey, the first or last letter of every third, fourth or seventh word spells out my name with just that one exception, I wonder if Suave is stalking me. Can they see me?" On the other hand a guy could be watching a sitcom where there is a character with his same name, same phone number, same wardrobe, same apartment layout, and same friends and all he would think is, "Huh, maybe all the misdialed calls that come to me are actually trying to reach this guy!"

Another example, when a girl has a crush on a guy, she will often fantasize about their names. Sometimes they will mix their names together to see what messages or secret codes they can find. Another standard way a girl will do this is to use her own first name with the guy's last name to see how it sounds. The girl is trying to find crazy signs that they were meant to be together. It's a girl thing. Proof, you never see guys putting their first names with  the girl's last name.

Playing with phone numbers is another example. Girls take the phone number of their crush and add, subtract or multiply it with their own. This new number they come up with provides some definition to their life. They look for that number in locker combinations, fortune cookies, the time of day, etc. They are obsessed with finding some sort of extra connection. If a guy gets a girl's phone number, all he does with it is brag about it to his friends.

Now, to be fair, there are some guys who read too much into things and a few girls who don't. But those are the exceptions. Some guys use Suave scalp solutions and some girls like action movies and actually drive pretty well.

But some of you girls are probably reading this and thinking that I am directing this entire post at you. Unfortunately, Jim probably still hasn't caught on. He is still wondering why he gets a busy signal when dialing the phone number of his favorite TV star.

how do you use your phone book?

I can't remember the last time I used a phone book for what it was actually intended. With the recent debut of the Internet, the information contained in phone books suddenly became much more accessible, user friendly and comprehensive. Need proof? Stalkers and con artists don't use phone books.


This doesn't mean that phone books are completely useless though. They can be useful, just not really for finding phone numbers and stuff. Here are a few ways in which the phone book can prove to be kind of useful:


Kindling for a fire
Booster Seat/foot rest
Target for shooting
Door stop
Killing bugs
Pressing Flowers
Paper mache
Temporary “business advertisement tattoos”
Toilet paper backup 


These all seem to be pretty decent uses, but I don't think that any of them justify the actual creation of these books. So there must be something deeper that I'm not able to see on the surface. My best guess is that they are mass manufactured to prevent tree over-population. It's the governments way of helping move global warming along. Why else would they mass produce booster seats  to be delivered right at our doorstep?