Thursday, February 23, 2012

I had a dream the other night...


I had a dream last night that involved many of my co-workers.

There was some sort of UFO crash landing site. Our secret base wasn't too far off so we just had our flying robotic drones carry the pieces of the wreckage into the base to be analyzed. When the drones would grab a hold of the crash debris, they would somehow have all of their power and energy sucked out of them. Finally there was one that had some sort of coating that kept it safe from being drained by the debris. It carried a few pieces back to our lab. I was somehow able to see that Tim and Clint were going to inspect the mysterious piece of metal. Tim walked up behind Clint and said, "Before we get started..." and he bashed Clint over the head, knocking him out. I was then somehow able to see Spencer and Amanda who were inspecting some object that was found on the ship. Tim randomly appeared and said, "Before we get started..." and he bashed them both over the head.

Next thing I knew, Chad and I were inspecting an unknown type of liquid that was found on the ship. We assumed that it was used for fuel but we couldn't be sure. As we were performing experiments and tests on the liquid, Tim walked in. He came right up to us and said, "Hey, before we get started..."

BAM! I didn't hesitate, I punched Tim in the face. His head kicked back momentarily, but the punch didn't seem to phase him. He looked surprised and said, "Seriously? I'm P90X!" He then bashed Chad over the head. I executed the unfailing drop kick and knocked Tim back into a table full of Chemistry equipment. I asked Tim, "How many people have you killed? How many dreams have you crushed? How many fair tales have you ruined?!?" He came at me again and stopped suddenly. He pointed behind me and said, "Look at that!" I wasn't fooled, I wasn't going to let my guard down. He then relaxed and said, "My lucky charm!" He walked over to a small computer chip that was hanging on a hook on the wall right next to me. He looked like a kid who had just found his favorite toy. I was perplexed, but not for long. I took the moment and bashed Tim over the head.

That was when I woke up

Thursday, February 02, 2012

donettes?

The other day I was invited over to my friend Suzy Q's place for what was supposed to be a fun and enjoyable evening. The Ding Dong of the doorbell was met with cheers from inside and I was pulled straight into some sort of game. The best way to explain the game was that it felt like doing a Cup Cake walk while someone was trying to hit me with a Sno Ball. I guess I just didn't get it, but from the he hes ha has and Ho Hos coming from the other players, I figured it was a pretty fun game. I was kind of even enjoying it when I hit my elbow on a cabinet, it was a real Zinger I could feel through my whole body. Apparently Suzy thought it was cute because she kept looking at me and smiling with a TwinkIe in her eye. It was kind of creepy.

All I really got out of this that evening was a firm decision that I'm not going to any more of Suzy's parties, she's a terrible Hostess.