But you don't really need this much money to celebrate Christmas

So a few friends and I were driving around a few days ago looking at Christmas lights and having a good time. We went out to Salem and looked at some lights floating on a pond that are set up to look like Christmas trees. They looked really neat out there, especially with their reflections. They also had a bunch of trees with mysteriously un-Christmas-like green and blue spotlights on them. But they looked cool anyway. A lit bridge spans the pond and provides a fantastic place for all visitors to freeze out in the open with winds coming from all directions. We had hot chocolate and continued looking at lights. It wasn't very exciting cause we didn't think there would be much out there to top what we had just seen. My sister had told me about a house that was uniquely decorated, so I decided to check it out. We drove around the foothills of Orem and Lindon for quite a while before we came to a house with flashing lights ALL over the place. There was a sign out front that instructed us to tune our radio to 99.9. The entire light show was put to music!! More and more lights would come on as the music would progress, lights would change colors, speeds and brightness. They were actually in sync with the music! I wasn't quite sure it was possible. We were all very impressed with our new discovery and it kinda pushed the whole pond scene out of our minds. This seemed to be quite a bit more advanced. It's amazing what they can do with technology these days. Either that or the home owner has enough time on his hands to sit inside flipping a few light switches while everyone else enjoys a fantastic yule celebration.

fitting in after the 'mish'

I'm praying that I'm not the only one who feels this way, but when I got home from my mission, I found it a bit difficult to fit in right away. It seemed like the entire world had changed in just 2 short years. When the last movie that you saw before you left was Superman Returns and back when HomestarRunner.com was still popular....

Walking around campus I realized that I didn't understand what people were talking about over 70% of the time. People would also talk about restaurants that I'd never heard of. 93% of everything my family says comes from movie quotes and I was feeling really out of place. So here is what I did to try to pull myself out of this awkwardness and place myself back into 'the swing of things.'

1 - I started watching "The Office." I knew that this would help a little bit, but I didn't realize that it would completely cover the 70% of conversations that I was lacking and quite a bit of the family quotes. Who knew something could become that popular without me.

2 - I went to Demae and tried Sushi. I didn't really see how this would help me all that much, but everyone told me that it was a must. There were about everybody in the world there eating raw fish. I even kinda liked it. People were coming up to me and congratulating me on getting out of the awkward stage of my life. What is that supposed to mean?

3 - As for the movies, it's a never-ending battle. I've watched several and am further behind than when I started. So on that I've given up, but noticed that nobody really cares. I saw The Dark Knight and the Pixar films, that helped a lot. And I learned a few quotes from other movies, just to help me out. Simple things like, "I'm kind of a big deal" "Life is like a box of chocolates..." and "Never go against a Sicilian when death is on the line!"

So I'm walking around with my head up these days. I understand what people are saying when they tell me that I act like Michael Scott or have the mental capacity of Kevin Malone, so I'm feeling pretty good about myself.

social eating

On Wednesdays I'm on campus all day, seriously it's ridiculous. In the middle of these days I get extremely hungry. It happens every time. I usually end up eating in the cafeteria, and usually eat some delicious sandwich from Subway. After purchasing my food I have the ever-so-fun task of looking for a place to sit...by myself.

While walking around looking for a seat I see about 30 tables with only one person sitting at them. I think of how these people look lame and friendless. So I decide to play a little game. I find a table and sit all by myself and pretend to be just like them. I sit down, throw my backpack onto the chair next to me and look around cautiously as I unwrap my sandwich. As I eat I give these fake looks of longing at the other tables where conversations are actually taking place.

I usually pretend to get some of the dressing on my face and fake feeling stupid for never remembering to pick up a few napkins while I'm at the register. I do this whole routine where I pick up the food that has fallen onto the wrapper and put it back in the sandwich, making myself appear to be inept and unconscious of everything around me.

When I finish my lunch I wrap up the mess that I've made and give a semi-satisfied look. I give a last pretend look around the cafeteria to see if there is anyone at all that I know, then give a fake look of disappointment. I throw my garbage away and start to walk out when I 'remember' that I've left my backpack. I pretend to get all embarrassed and go back for it while avoiding all eye contact. I then walk out by myself, but really I'm feeling bad for all the people in there who really do have to eat all by themselves like social outcasts. The sad part is, they probably don't even have the slightest clue that they're one of them.

courtesy on crutches

I have noticed over the past few days that people don't have a whole lot of respect for people that use crutches to walk around. Apparently we feel that because we can walk around with just our two good legs that we are better than those who have to use a couple of rudimentary poles to assist them. I have decided to devote a few inches of internet space to showing how we can be more courteous to these people in their unfortunate circumstances. Here is a list of a few simple things that you can do.

When you are walking down a long bit of stairs, and there is a person using crutches also walking down the stairs, they generally are going quite a bit slower than you. Be courteous and don't make NASCAR racing sounds as you pass them, just because you can fly past at a quick rate.

When you want to kick the crutches out from underneath someone, think about what you are doing first. You have to be strategic. If you want to be a jerk and hurt them, kick out the crutch on the side of their injured leg. This will cause them to hit that foot on the ground and cause lots of pain. If you just want to be funny and give everyone a good laugh, kick out the crutch opposite their injured leg. This will just trip them up and they'll fall neatly on their healthy side.

It can be frustrating when you are in a hurry, walking down a narrow hallway behind someone who is on crutches. Determine whether you want to be mean or funny, follow the steps in the above paragraph, then jump over them. Try to make a good effort at a laugh as you run by, so that people don't think you're just being malicious.

Lastly, remember that things happen in life. There is a chance that sometime you will be on crutches. I hope that if that happens you will remember this blog, and realize why people do the things they do. It's not out of hate, spite, anger, inconvenience, or frustration. So when you look up at us from the floor remember it's okay to laugh a little, cause we thinks it's funny too.

.....?

I had a great idea for a blog today. I was so excited to write about it. I had thought of some key sentences that I would use to make it ridiculously funny. I even had a very well

planned paragraph break. I got to the library and onto my computer and loaded up my blog. By the time it opened up to the "compose" screen, I'd totally forgotten what I wanted to say. I tried and tried to think of what I wanted to write, but it wasn't coming back to me. I sat there for several minutes but nothing happened. I felt cheated in not being able to write what I wanted to. I thought about how lame it was that I couldn't remember what I wanted to say. It was even almost worth writing about itself......almost.

Not everything can verb

Have you noticed how pretty much anything can be used as a verb these days? It doesn't even have to be a word, people can say whatever they want to! I was talking with a friend asking him how another old friend was doing. He didn't know so he said, "I should facebook him and see what's up." I'm sorry but facebook in not a verb. Neither is Google, you can 'search for something on Google' but you just simply can't 'Google' something.

I decided to try it out when having a conversation with a friend. He used the object verb first saying, "Last weekend my sister got her tires knifed and her car was keyed." So in an attempt to keep up with todays modern language I said, "Man I hate it when people do that, it makes me want to gun them."

If you can just take any object and turn it into a verb, there is no point with having any verbs. So I am keyboarding this blog to information everybody about how ridiculous our speech has become. I am grateful that I can internet this out to all of you at the same time since I'm studenting at BYU, it easiers life. If you question, you can always cellphone me. If I don't cellphone back it's cause i'm either carring, fooding, or funning with friends.

Walk-By Quotes

All around campus, in the halls at school, in the mall or basically anywhere in public there are constantly thousands of different conversations taking place simultaneously. When simply walking by someone in one of these places you don't ever hear enough of the conversation to know what they're actually talking about. Often times these little snippets from other people's lives are quite comical due to the fact that we have no idea what they are really talking about or how they got onto that topic.

When walking around campus one day I was lucky enough to hear two of these walk-by quotes within a matter of minutes. The first was a group of girls talking very quickly with each other. The only words I got out of their conversation came from the girl furthest away from me. "Oh my gosh, I have to find someone to make-out with tonight" are the only words that I ever heard her say. Walking on after a few minutes I heard one guy exclaiming to his friend, "No! I am not the fastest guy in our ward!" I was still chuckling from the first 'WBQ' but when I heard this I actually started laughing. I really wanted to tell the guy that there was a girl just a stone's throw away that he should talk to.


Another time I was walking past a few people doing some service, cleaning up weeds on campus, when I heard one of my favorites. One of the guys was asking the only female in the area, "Can you even name four books from the Apocrypha?" There are some conversations that just scare me.

Here are some of my other favorites:
"We doubled our baptisms by three times!"

"If he's going to be like that, I'm going to be like this"

"At least it isn't yet rain"

"That's all I have to say! and on top of that if you....."

So as I have been thinking about WBQs more often and trying to hear more good ones, I have also been paying closer attention to what I'm saying when people are walking by. The worst was when I found out that my long-lost cousin was in my Book of Mormon class. My mom had told me to call her and invite her to dinner sometime. Next time I got the chance, while walking out of class through a whole mess of people, I brought this issue up with her. I wish that everyone around me had understood that she was my cousin when I said to her, "Hey, my mom wanted me to get your phone number."