Have you ever been trying to find a parking place in a fairly full parking lot and you finally think that you see a good spot but when get there you see that some idiot has parked in a way that he is taking up more than one parking spot? Or just seen somebody parked taking up 4 spots just because they have a nice car? Or parked at the end of a row where there isn't a parking space? Or parked by a red curb that says, "No Parking Anytime"? It is something that has bugged me for quite a long time and has caused me to think about being a police officer and just giving out parking tickets. I've also thought about becoming president so that I can implement a death penalty for parking violations. But those seem kinda drastic. And often times, people just need a friendly little reminder that tells them how stupid they are. So I found this little message that I like to print off and toss on these people's windshields. It seems to work quite effectively.
PARKING VIOLATION
This is not a ticket, but if it were within my
power, you would receive two. Because of
your Bull Headed, inconsiderate, feeble
attempt at parking. You have taken enough
room for a 20 mule team, 2 elephants, 1 goat
and a safari of pygmies from the African
interior, The reason for giving you this is so
that in the future you may think of someone
else, other than yourself. Besides I don't like
domineering, egotistical or simple minded
driver and you probably fit into at least
one of these categories.
I sign of wishing you an early transmission
failure (on the expressway at about 4:30
p.m.). Also may the Fleas of a thousand
camels infest your armpits
WITH MY COMPLIMENTS
Now this may not change the attitude of the jerk who parked as though he were the king of some small foreign nation that nobody has ever heard of. But I can guarantee that it'll make you feel a whole lot better. So if you'd like you can copy this and paste and print them out to use at your own discretion. Any violent consequences that may occur due to the use of these strategically organized words can not be held against me.
